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Important: Are you Caught in the Unselfishness Trap? Part 1

By Roger Haeske © 2004, All Rights Reserved

This might be an extremely important article for you to read if you are having trouble going raw. I see so many of my coaching clients, friends and family members suffer under the false idea of what is the unselfish thing to do and those ideas often make it next to impossible for them to succeed at eating a Raw Food Diet.

Let me share an email with you, from one of my Raw Food Coaching Clients and member of .


Hi Roger-

Thanks for mentioning the Harry Browne-How I Found Freedom... book. Paul Nison suggested it to me quite a while ago. I bought it and only read parts. So much of it already sounded like me I put it down. Today I'm looking through it again, I think I'll read it cover to cover this time. I have pretty much lived my life trying to please others. For at least a year I've never considered 'my own interests' of health. I'd have raw food in mind, but after preparing cooked food for loved ones I'd be too tired to prepare my own raw food.

I mention all of this because I'm certain in your coaching you've come across many people who have bought into ' spiritual ' ideas that others come first, their desires, their wants, wishes. Its one of the hidden reasons I hadn't went raw. I know it sounds ridiculous, giving till it hurts, but I'm learning. I don't have physically forever to live, to wait till others 'get it'.

This is really an eye opener for me. DO WHATS IN MY OWN BEST HEALTH INTERESTS!!

And no, I haven't sleep much yet or been consistently raw yet but each day I'm making much better choices. I'm gonna do this Roger. You may not hear much from me, but I know you're out there along with the group supporting me.

I remember going raw a few days in-a-row and experiencing bliss. That was scary. "Could it be like this a lot more?", were my questions to myself. Believe it or not this is one of my main reasons. And I just know that a greater part of my potential will come out. I think I'm ready now, not too much fear of being a 100 watt light bulb instead of a 60 watt!

Regards, Maurice 

Las Vegas , Nevada


Maurice, I want to thank you for sharing a very insightful email. I was writing an article about this very topic yesterday and what you wrote was a perfect compliment to the article.

First of all I definitely recommend you do read "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World," from cover to cover. That book really changed my life for the better. I don't agree with every point, but it was liberating nonetheless. I read of stuff there that I had often thought about but I had never crystallized my thoughts. It is chock filled with useful ideas to improve your life in many different areas of life.

I also applaud you for deciding not to prepare cooked food for your family anymore. You broke out of the unselfishness trap. The 'unselfishness trap' as defined by Harry Browne is the belief that you must put the happiness of others ahead of your own.

It's tough for your family since you are a chef, but they'll have to adjust or maybe they'll start eating your raw creations. You have to do what is most important for your health. In the long run, your choice will actually help your family as they see your health improving. Maybe they'll start adding more raw foods into their diets. The main point is that you have the freedom to do what is best for you and your wife and kids have the freedom to do what is best for them according to their judgment.

I've had so many raw coaching clients who couldn't go raw because they BELIEVED they had to prepare the cooked food for their spouse and family. They were trapped in these artificial societal roles and rules. The funny thing was that some of these clients were well enough off so that they could have easily hired a live in cook or had food delivered to them. Why does the wife have to prepare food? Did you marry a cook and maid or your wife?

Once people have been in these roles for a long time and are dependent on their spouses, they are often afraid to make any changes because it has the potential to ruin the relationship. This also has financial and survival implications. You just have to ask yourself, what is more important, your health, or your marriage? In most cases, you can stay raw and keep your marriage without a problem. But you have to be willing to answer that you would prefer health; otherwise you will have a slim chance of going 100% raw. Your health has to be one of your top priorities for you to succeed.

It would be like a chain smoker trying to quit smoking, while living in a room of other chain smokers. These are not favorable conditions to quit smoking with. If you want to succeed at going raw you want to stack as many success factors in your favor as you can.

The more you avoid the smells and images of cooked food, the easier it will be for you. Those smells and images click off st ron g emotional memories that are associated with cooked food. If you are constantly bombarded with these smells and images, you are likely to eventually give in and want to indulge in the mood altering drug of cooked food.

I know in my case I've gotten to the point where I no longer think of what cooked food I can eat to change my mood. But I remember I used to constantly have those thoughts. A habit will die or end, if you don't pay it any attention. If you limit yourself to raw foods only, all of those old thought patterns eventually die out and you establish the habit of eating raw food only. You don't think of eating cooked food anymore, because you simply don't allow yourself that choice.

I've written much more on this. So there will be a part two email coming up soon.

To Your Radiant Health, Happiness and Fitness, Roger Haeske

The Raw Motivator

P.S. Do you want the vibrant health, happiness and peak performance that a raw food diet will bring you? Has it been difficult for you to stay raw due to cravings, social pressures or not doing the diet correctly? Then now is the best time to join because I've added in some powerful bonuses to help you succeed, including telephone coaching and the "Raw Secrets Bonus Package." You get over $448 worth of bonuses at one very low price. Go to the link below to take advantage of this special offer.


Think and Go Raw
Roger Haeske
A-1 Riverview Dr.
South River, NJ 08882

rh ( at )

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